For those new to this strange shotsnaps segment indulging vanity, false appearances, and daily reality, here's its genesis. Also, sorry for the graininess of all these. I took most at dusk and and had to crank the ISO to its highest setting to even get these.
Without further ado, here's Exhibit A.
Exhibit A:
Wear this outfit to church, because that's the only place outside of your house you've been seen lately. Toss your pajamas on the floor, throw on a green shirt because, hey, there's a green apple on the skirt, and go! Brush your hair on the way.
-Shirt: H&M from a rummage bag sale. Cost-- about 5 cents
-Appliqued skirt: a vintage one that was already vintage when I bought it at a rummage sale 15 years ago. Cost-- about 5 cents
-Brown heels: cost-- 67 cents
-Red necklace: wooden beads given to me by a kind lady at a rummage sale, for my children to use as stringing beads. I stole them from my children and wore them on my neck. Cost-- free.
Optional accessory: an empty tin cup from the bathroom. Hold it because you're awkward. Cost: free gift from your mother.
Total cost of outfit: about 75 cents
Exhibit B:
Wear this outfit in February (and March) when you decide that it's a great idea to start jogging through hilltop snowdrifts. Wear mostly black clothing and jog at dusk not because you want your country neighbors to accidentally run you down and smush you flat, but because it's all you can find and because hlearning doesn't end until dusk. Watch out-- people who don't own real athletic clothing have some weird layers hidden underneath.
-Turquoise tank top: hand-me-down. Cost-- free
-Sparkly t-shirt: hand-me-down. Cost-- free
-Long-john shirt: gift. Cost-- free
-Tan wool sweater: hand-me-down
-Old-lady wool sweater: gift from a rummage sale. Cost: free
-Marmot fleece sweatshirt: rummage bag sale. Cost-- about 5 cents
-Black stockings (yes, stocking...not athletic tights): rummage sale. Cost: under five cents
-Capri-length fashion leggings on top of the stockings (yes, capri-length fashion leggings): rummage sale. Cost: less than five cents.
-Shorts: hand-me-down a long time ago from my sister-in-law (I can't be sure, but I bet these were her high school sports shorts 10+ years ago)
-Lime green socks: gift from mom-in-law. Cost: free
-Sneakers: purchased three years ago to replace the hole-ridden ones from college. Cost: I can't remember. I think I bought them on sale for $25, marked down from $70.
Not-at-all-optional accessories (Seriously, not optional. It's February on a hilltop!):
-Your husband's hat, which used to be your father-in-law's when your husband was a baby. Cost: free
-Scarf: Christmas gift six years ago. Cost-- free
-Your husband's gloves: he never wears them, after all. Origin and cost: unknown
Total cost of outfit: not counting the sneakers (because that would make the outfit too expensive!): about ten cents
Side by Side:
whoa! THE HAT!
ReplyDeleteI remember it from so many late-night time-wastings in Big Al's or on the steps of the chapel.
the value: priceless.
I love this post!!!
ReplyDeleteThat hat has miraculously survived many adventures since those days, too, including a several-month hibernation in the woods (under snow!) until spring-melt revealed it after we'd given it up for lost.
ReplyDeleteSusannah,
That's all the incentive I need to continue. You might regret it! :)
Lucy came over peaking over my shoulder she saw the 4th photo and exclaimed, " Who's that?" When I told her she said, "What is she doing! being surprised? WHAT is she thinking!! She's got a scarf on her face!"
ReplyDeleteI WAS surprised! I was thinking, "Now how on earth did that scarf get there?!"
ReplyDelete