EXHIBIT A:
Wear this outfit while burning the old piano that your boys demolished.
Black long-sleeved tee: a dime at a rummage sale
Green fleece sweatshirt: a dime at a rummage sale
Ill-fitting jeans: a dime at a rummage sale
Green Nike sneakers: a dime at a rummage sale
Weldo: free and lovingly knit by your daughter to replace Waldo (whom she threw away in a tiff)
Optional accessories:
-a plastic bucket filled with water in case the flames, as they often do, get out of hand-- free from Price Chopper's bakery
-metal pole from the chicken coop to poke the flames and shove stuff around-- free from the chicken coop
-metal pole from the chicken coop to poke the flames and shove stuff around-- free from the chicken coop
Total: cost of outfit-- about 40 cents
EXHIBIT B:
Wear this outfit to church when you are feeling particularly prim and schoolmarmish.
Cream shirt: a dime at a rummage sale (and now sitting in a donation bag out in the van)
Gray skirt: a dime at a rummage sale
Gray heels: $2-something on clearance at Target quite a few years ago
Optional accessories:
-elephant bracelet: borrowed from Annika
- sparkly earrings: on clearance with a set of others; about 5 cents
-classy, plastic bucket still hanging around: free
Total cost of outfit: about 3 dollars
Close comparison:
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