Real Time

Two days after Hallowe'en, and life has just slowed enough for the children to engage in the ritual Sorting of the Candy.

Aidan was allowed to pick out 15 pieces of his very own before (being forced into) donating the rest to a communal bag which goes to storage at Grandma's so that Someone does not eat it all before the children get a chance to.

Anyway, this morning after he filled his belly with homemade yogurt (full of probiotics!), I responded to his pleading by agreeing that he could have one piece of candy (full of poison!).

An hour later, one of my spies came and told me that he'd eaten more than one. When I asked him about it, he looked up at me, so tall and firm, with the most mournful face you ever did see.

"Did you eat more than one candy, Aidan?" I asked, with just the right amount of gentle but firm sternness, the sort that will elicit a truthful answer from a guilty party 1 time out of 10.

"Yeeeeeeees..." he replied, with even more mournfulness welling up.

"What did you eat, Aidan?" I tried again.

The mournfulness began to fade a bit, replaced by the righteousness of one who thinks he might be getting more firm and stern than he deserves. 

"Me ONLY ate one candy and then one air mattress," he said, slightly defensively.

He repeated this several times before I finally got it.

He ate an airhead.
Yum.