The All-Knowing Mother

She doesn't exist, except as a cruel joke spread around to torment us Regulars.

Case in Point #1:

Before having her read the new primer, I reviewed some consonant blends with Annie, and things proceeded as they usually do.

The All-Knowing Mother: "What sound does this make?"

Nix: "Cr...like crack!"

(The All-Knowing Mother gives positive reinforcement through verbal encouragement.)

The All-Knowing Mother: "And this one?"

Nix: "Squ....like squeak!"

(More affirming noises.)

The All-knowing Mother: "How 'bout this one?"

Nix: "Scr.... just like scrickle!"

The All-Knowing Mother, gently: "But that's not a word, sweet."

Annika, without skipping a beat: "Yes, it is! It's my French word for "chimney!"

How could I argue?!


Case in point #2:

Having newly discovered them, Millie's been on a riddle kick lately. Here's one delivered to you in real time.

Me, as I type right now: "Millie, tell me a riddle!"

Millie: "Um. What has eight legs and can juggle oranges and apples? Weeell, in the case of the ocean, it would be rocks-- smooth rocks."

Me: "I dunno."

Millie: "An octopus!"

Me: "Oh. I'm a dummy."

Annika has been listening to Millie for the last week and has taken riddling a step further-- right into absurdity. Go ahead, readers, riddle me this.

Annika: "What has sixteen heads...and no body... and two legs... and one finger? Oh! And it is orange. No, wait, BLUE."

All-Knowing Mother: "Is that all?" Proceeds to think all manner of nonsense before hitting gold with, "A monster?"

Annika, thinking about it: "Um.................Yup!"

Annika, later: "What has two heads and one body and no legs and a bib and five arms?"

I was completely befuddled, but Millie jumped right in with, "A baby monster."

Annika, thinking about it: "Um.....................yup!"

[John and I both burst into laughter.]


Liana said...

see, your children are brilliant.

this made me giggle out loud, too (at work :)

Cadence said...

Annika's one made me laugh. ("Oh! and it's orange. No, wait, BLUE") And then "Ummm.......yup!" when you guess a monster...

Really though, sixteen heads, no body, two legs, and one finger is quite an amusing monster. :-)

Your relation of Millie's riddle reminded me of when Caleb got on a joke-telling kick some time back. His jokes were based off of a joke book we'd gotten out of the library, but they kind of lacked the element of surprise in the punchline. "What is as big as an elephant, and has the shape of an elephant, and looks like an elephant?" Answer: "An elephant!" :-D Or sometimes he'd say the elephants shadow... ones like that.

Not that Millie's was quite like that, but little kids' jokes I think are just as amusing as ones out of the book (sometimes more), even if in a different way.

heidiann(e) said...

i like that.