Oh, So Cozy, No Solo Mio.
The realtor will be waltzing through our apartment on both Friday and Saturday to show it to the house's potential buyers.
Here is a snippet of our brief and awkward (at least on my end) phone conversation.
Realtor Man: So would it be feasible for us to stop by at those times?
Bellygal: Sure, no problem. The only thing is that I'm pregnant and was due last Saturday. Depending on when the baby decides to come out, the apartment may be completely empty or overflowing with people.
Realtor Man: You're pregnant?!? This is your third child, right? (At this point, he was furiously figuring how we could fit another child into our bedroom.)
Bellygal: Yes'ir.
Realtor Man: God bless you! (Stated in that peculiar way people have when they're not really referring to God or blessings...)
Bellygal: Um. He is. That's why we have three...
Fairly long, awkward silence ensues.
Bellygal, cheerily: Sure! Friday and Saturday would be great! Come on by!
The End.
9 comments :
This comment may be too late. However, I'd thought I'd insert my two cents here.
I have given up on Rebecca. In one sense that is. A while back you had a post on baby names (the weirder the better). Well I have one that Rebecca is adamantly apposed to: Francoise (with the thingy on the bottom of the 'c'). It's a girls' name. Since none of our childer will be bestowed with such an honor, I could vicariously rejoice with your open-mindedness. ;-)
this is reader's digest material. and they pay for stories like this. you should send it in.
I have heard that peculiar kind of "God bless you" myself on occasion. Sometimes the person actually means it. Usually it is a woman who cannot have children.
So-you are already getting that attitude at THREE children? I wonder what will happen when your brood becomes a tribe? :-)
I hope you go into labor today or tomorrow. Wouldn't THAT be a neat experience to walk into!? Really shows how much potential the house has-Everything All included! You don't even need to leave the house to have a baby! I can imagine it would be a real selling point! I know. I should be a realtor.
(BTW~Go ahead and take that Franciose name (or whatever.) It sounds quite familiar to that special drink you like anyway. Besides-I stick to names I can say AND spell. :-)
Yes, I think most any of us who are part of a large family have one time or another heard that ambigous "God bless you."
As awkward as it can be, I actually find it the most "polite" offering. For someone who does not agree with the conviction of having many children it is about the most polite thing they can say.
It's all down hill from there, sadly. I think the father actually suffers more crude comments about the number of his children than the mother. Perhaps it is in part because people don't see it as much the mother's "fault."
Since I am only a member of a large family and not the mother or father, the most common and irritating query I get is, "Are you all from the same mother?" Sometimes my irritation is unfounded and unfair--it can be an innocent question asking in a backward way if some of us were adopted, or something. But usually the implication is that for Dear Old Dad to have THAT many kids he must have three divorces under his belt, or else have several wives and a couple extra concubines to make such a large crowd. It kinda comes off as a general insult of the entire family, implying that we must be engaged in all sorts of immorality to have that many people.
I think the response that has made me most angry was when Mom had some people (strangers) over for a tour of her garden. On starting the tour a whole passle of kids came flocking out of the house (of course).
On seeing all the children the lady said, "Are these all yours?"
When Mom replied the affimitive the lady promptly turned about and said, "Shame on you! SHAME on you!!"
I was not personally present to hear this, which is a good thing because I may not have been able to remain civil.
The sentiment expressed is, of course, one a lot of people in today's society think. But it struck me as particularly galling that someone would give this lecture about "shame" to a mother about her OWN children, in front of her children, at her own house.
Mom was gracious, but if any adult male member of our family had been present the lady might have been informed that her person couldn't possibly exit our property fast enough.
The strangest remark I've ever heard (and I've heard it more than once) is, Are you going to have more?
Just to clarify: they are asking me. About my parents.
I've never really figured out what I'm supposed to do with that question. I suppose I will start saying, "Nah, I don't feel like it."
The most despicable treatment we have received (as a large group of children belonging to only two parents), is the "herd" treatment. As if we were cattle or something!
When someone says "too much," or treats us like a number, I feel like politely asking them a question: "In your opinion, which one of us shouldn't exist?"
As in Jonathan Swift's "Modest Proposal"--To treat already-born children as if they shouldn't be alive is inhumane, murderous, and leads directly to social holocaust.
Has anyone read "Cheaper by the Dozen," and remember that part when the Planned Parenthood spokesperson shows up at their house--"Within twelve miles of National Headquarters!"--? That's hilarious!
Yes, that part of Cheaper by The Dozen was hilarious.
Of course, most of the novel induces laughing.
Another one of my favorite parts was the "Psychologist" chapter. That one was a jab at both psychology-babble and the anti-family sentiment which made it double funny in my book.
I think any of us who have been subjected to questioning that is at least vaugely similiar to that pyschologist's "Do they beat you?" "Do you bath?" etc, wishes they could so something similiar to what they pulled off in the story.
oh, and: CONGRATULATIONS! on the new baby! She's beautiful, and looks a lot like you. :) My sister and I love her name. . .
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