My Weight Gain Journey

Oh, I know.  I know.  But aren't we getting a little bored with all of those bland weight loss journeys?  Aren't we hankering for a solid, old-fashioned tale of how one girl successfully packs it on?

Sure we are.

As any faithful reader knows, my weight has varied wildly for the last 15 years.  It's been a constant yo-yo between two extremes and every stop in between.  Snooty-pants scrawny chicken?

Yup.  When running is a joy, and I eat well, I can do the snooty-pants scrawny chicken. 

Enormous bathrobe queen with an equally enormous appetite for sweets? 

You bet.  I can do that one effortlessly! 

A red-faced, dough-y girl in the garden*, a few weeks after a new baby, wondering if perhaps she should have eaten something other than junk for 9 straight months, wondering if maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't then have gained 50 + pounds?   Not to fear. I've got that one covered, multiple times.   (*This picture is almost certainly the ugliest picture of me in existence.  I post it for the pleasure of my enemies.)

A happy medium most of the time?  (Physically, mind you.  Not emotionally.  Never emotionally.  Just ask Luke.)  I'm good there, too.

Anyway, that rambling preamble-- a "preramble," if you will-- serves as proof that I'm an expert in this area.   You may get discouraged when you think about your potential for gaining weight.  The fact that you don't find yourself gaining weight as successfully or as rapidly as others may make you reach for a carrot in despair.  My advice?  Don't compare! AND PUT THAT CARROT DOWN!  A lot of the weight gain plans you see floating around the internet seem unattainable. I'm here to tell you they're not.  It can be done!  I've even recently embarked on a new phase of my personal weight gain journey.  My goals may seem lofty to you, perhaps even superhuman-- unattainable?-- but I have confidence in my abilities.  I've done it before, and, with God's help, I'll do it again.

So here's to being an enormous bathrobe queen by September 26th!!! 

Count down with me now...and pass the candy.

*For those who really don't understand the point, this post is a cheeky way of announcing our newest little one.  Hurrah for babies!  (And also, but obviously much less so, hurrah for candy!)

**You can all thank Millie for my blogging today. Normally I wait until the backlog of snapshots is stacked to the ceiling before I'm pushed into writing a monster post to get rid of them all, but she's been DYING for me to post this one.  I finally caved.



ZOOOOIE, MAMA! WOWSERS, Abby! This is just FANTASTIC! What HIP-HAPPITY NEWS! I am OVER-THE-MOON with EXCITEMENT for you, John, and your family! Simply CANNOT WAIT to see you PACK ON THOSE POUNDS as the PRECIOUS, LITTLE ONE grows ounce by ounce! Why don't you make things even BETTER and have TRIPLETS this time, HUH?!?!?!?!?!?! The only thing nicer than ONE, SWEET BABY is THREE!


Yours TRULY,
An Anonymous Admirerer!!!!

Rebecca said...

At the VERY least, twins. You are going for a record. And that'd put you at an even 10. I may snatch the double in your sleep sometime though, hoping you'd not notice. Fair warning.

PS. First picture? Those arms! Oh me oh my. To have muscular arms again....

PPS. Second picture? Posting a 9 month pregnant picture as a 'heavy weight' picture is as unfair as touting "I lost 15 pounds in ONE week!" the week after having a baby. Also- you are probably super duper thin there and happen to have a gazillion layers on because WINTER! (duh!)

PPS. Third picture? (Sensing a pattern here?) Garden work? Really??!?!?! If you looked all glamourous and lovely doing garden work I might have to hit you over the head with that shovel. (That was violent) And that picture was taken a few weeks after having a baby? I hate you.

PPPS. Congratulations again on that baby. The best way to buildabelly yet. ;-)

Abigail said...

Dearest Anonymous Admirerer,

My sentiments exactly. It's uncanny how much we think alike.


If I ever had twins, I'd be equal parts excited and terrified. :) It'd be like brand new mothering all over again.

p.s. Arms schmarms. I haven't seen those things for four years and may never again! And, honestly, the running-a-lot and eating-really-well was it. After Aidan was born, I was pretty healthy (in the happy medium way). I ran moderately and ate pretty well AND did some (very minor) strength training. I found my arms were not lean like they were with running alone, but I was STRONGER, so lean arms aren't necessarily the best. I don't think those lean running arms could've handled even five true push-ups in a row. (Mostly because I'm a wimp.)

p.p.s. You jest. That's the pregnancy where I forbade the nurse from telling me my weight once I hit 60 pounds gained, so I don't even know what the final tally was! I still had 20 of it left when I got pregnant with this little one, so, really, no. Just no. Let me glory in my sturdiness here. It was well earned! :)

p.p.p.s. Yup. Still had over 50 pounds extra here. This picture makes me laugh every time I look at it. What a MISERABLE girl! It's easy to see that she would much rather be inside holding her baby while eating donuts.

p.p.p.p.s. YES! YES! YES! And YES! again! You nailed it. I'm afraid my silly way of announcing this detracted from the whole point of the post. A BABY is coming! I will be sure to showcase not just the baby belly but the sausage legs. Leather maternity pants, here we come... but the baby is just the best.

Nanno said...

Congratulations! Come September you'll be 3/4 of the way to the Glorious Dozen!

Abigail said...


Thanks! Be sure to let Phil know that we are trying our darndest. Would hate for him to call us "feeble." ;)

Abigail said...

p.s. Plus, the fabled prize tempts us...

Molly said...

OH MY GOODNESS! What GLORIOUS NEWS!!!! I am sending LOTS of citrus goodness your way so ALL can be healthy. YAY!YAY!YAY!!!!!

Much love!

Molly said...

By the way...you look GREAT any shape or size! My body never recovered from my own pregnancy almost 32 years ago. :-( And, I'm STILL trying to lose that "baby" weight gain...

P.S. I think you look like Audrey Hepburn in that first photo!

Much love!