To the Ends of the Earth
I usually tell anecdotes featuring Millie, but John deserves a place all his own.
The backdrop: Every time a telemarketer calls, John's antics get stranger and stranger, unless he's too tired and just puts Millie on the phone to jabber them away. A more recent attempt as follows:
Telemarketer: blah, blah, blah, blah, please buy blah, blah, blah...
John: What's your name?
Telemarketer: blah, blah, blah
John, in an earnest, oddly pitched voice: Sabrina, I can't talk to you! I'm a married man! No, no, no! I'm a married man! I can't be talking to strange women over the phone! Sabrina! I just can't do this! No, Sabrina, no!
This went on for several minutes.
You've got to give telemarketers credit for persistence beyond understanding...
5 comments :
In the interests of all misrepresented people, I should edit this anecdote. John didn't ask Sabrina's name. Her first line was, "Hi, this is Sabrina blah blah blah..." John makes a point of remembering their names from the opening line so that he can refer to them personally throughout the conversation.
I fear that a grave mistake has occured, much to John's immediate peril.
You see, in Spanish sabrina means neice. My interpretation of the event is as follows:
I do believe that one of John's long lost relatives of Spanish decent was trying to make familial contact. Better luck next time.
I wonder if John has read Fun with Phone Solicitors: 50 Ways to Get Even by Robert Harris (New York: Warner Books, 2001. ISBN 0-446-67865-1). I discovered it in the holdings of the Four County Library System when I was looking for information on residential telephone wiring. "Non-Sequitur Neutralization," "Jabberwocky Jerk-Around," and the "Simpleton Strategy" are three of the 50 ways provided to have fun at the solicitor's expense, but I'm sure John could add to the collection.
Matt,
Why in the world was John's neice trying to entrap a married man over the phone? I am baffled.
Kathy,
Neither of us has heard of this, but it made me smile. The "Jabberwocky Jerk-Around" is one of John's specialties. I always know a telemarketer is on the phone when I hear yowling from the living room.
Don't ask me to explain the familia de Owenszs.
Post a Comment