Oh, Baby, Baby

About a month ago, John and I were unloading our circus all the children from the van when a lady called out to us from a few cars down.  As anyone with more than two children knows, people in public places are willing to share their unsolicited opinions about the size of your family, and these opinions are generally negative, even if implicit or well-meaning. So as she called out, I slightly braced myself for what I anticipated hearing.

Bless her bones.  I heard no, "Wow!  You've got your hands full!" or "I sure couldn't do it!" or "Do you know what causes that?" or "Man, I can't stand having even TWO; I don't know you do it." or any of the hackneyed phrases that I grew tired of hearing years ago.  No, this middle-aged woman surprised me with a big grin and a loud, "THANK you!"   She went on to say that it was so good to see a large family out in public and that she missed seeing more than one in a blue moon.  She continued talking, and I listened with my jaw on the ground, until I remembered to thank her in return.  Her words were refreshing and encouraging and totally unexpected.

Now, we do get positive comments quite a bit, mixed in with the rude gaping and muttering, but these comments are usually along the lines of how well-behaved, polite, and beautiful (?) our children are, which I think is less a reflection on our girls and Zeke and more a statement on how far the general populace has fallen, with its unrestrained and ugly screaming tantrums in the grocery line and the just as unrestrained, ugly responses by parents who should love better, but who, for whatever reason, don't.  Our family is flawed, like all families, but people usually expect the worst when they see half a dozen children out together.  I want to help people expect more.

I have a string of responses for those comments these days and offer them like a reflex.
"You sure have your hands full!"
Yes, happily so!

"Wow, that's a heckuva lot of kids."
Yup, they're wonderful!

"I sure couldn't do it."
I don't do it well half the time, either, but they're worth it!

"Do you know what causes that?"
You bet!  Why do you think we have so many? Or there's John's usual response: Ummm.  No....but I'm gonna keep trying until I find out.

"What's in your water?"
Something AWESOME, obviously!

And, no, my husband doesn't make much money, though he's right where he should be (about $11/hour minus taxes & insurance is modest, right?), and, no, we're not on government assistance (and yet we still have brimful bellies), and, no, a rich uncle didn't leave us a chest full o' gold (where is that uncle with his chest full of gold?), and, yes, we have more than enough.  This is a testament to the wealth of our country, our daily choices to live simply and work well, the love of others, and, over and through it all, God's open hand of provision.

These are all Pollyanna responses and don't show the full, messy picture of life as a mama of many, with all my sorry screw-ups, but I weary of strangers complaining about their children-- to me or to whomever they're with, and usually with their children listening-- and I don't want my children to hear anything of the kind.  Instead, I want them to know, bone-deep, that they are precious, they are valued, they are loved, and that their Creator-God named them before He even shaped the world.  They are not accidents; they are not a result of irresponsibility or oversight. They were deliberately knit together by their Father, and they are welcome in our hearts and lives.

I've briefly touched before on the fact that John and I accept the children that God gives, without too much elaboration because this blog's not designed for debates people love to scrap about, no matter how deeply held the belief.  All this to say, in brief:  We are honored to accept this little soul.  May God protect him or her in the womb and out, and may He give us the grace and wisdom to be better than we are.

Oh, yeah.   If you think of it the next time you see a large family out and about, give them a big grin and a thumbs-up from me, will you?  Trust me, they'll love you for it.

And thank you all for your big grins and thumbs-ups!  We love you for it.