Oh, Solomon!
Here's a long, silly story to explain two silly pictures. I was sweating in the garden, working on a peeling nose and a sunburn while looking like a stuck pig, when I decided to take a picture. Because I haven't read through my new camera's manual yet, I flipped a few switches to experiment when I came across THE PORTRAIT SETTING. On the LCD screen, I read the white-lettered Explanation for Dummies Like Me....."Portrait with soft, overall tone and beautiful skin tones."
I thought it was a funny guarantee to make to whoever picked up the camera, and I silently guffawed. Then, like any practical person would do, I immediately went inside, washed the manure off my face, slicked my hair down, and put a new shirt on over my grubby shorts. I also put on clear, shiny, lip gloss (like any sensible person would do). A few minutes later, voila!, I had myself A PORTRAIT with soft, overall tone and beautiful skin tones. What you can't see are my filthy hands that I did not wash and which I am slyly hiding outside the camera's reach. After this scientific experiment (also known as Vanity of Vanities), I changed back into my garden shirt and resumed planting the corn.
PORTRAIT one entitled: "Sullen Scaredy-Cat with Grimy Hands but Beautiful Skin Tones"
Picture two taken without the portrait setting: entitled "I Just Had My Teeth Cleaned for the Fifth Time Ever!" This is true, and my root canal has been scheduled for July. Apparently, we have great insurance and, apparently, I look like my mom.
5 comments :
you are so pretty.
the "portrait" setting on my camera has an icon of a lady in a big hat with a flower on it. maybe for your next sitting, you ought to don a fancy hat?
stay tuned for my post-garden-grime photo on protait setting.
Nonsense (not to heidi's comment, but to the one you left on my blog). I laughed to find you'd taken some self-portraits (and it made me feel better about doing that same silly thing myself!) Yours are lovely, and as I said there, you manage to take many beautiful shots of yourself, while I turn into a gargoil the minute I turn the camera around to point it at my own face at arms length. The mirror helped a little....
You are so pretty-and ironically, you have beautiful skin tones in BOTH. But I did, greatly enjoy the titles you posted for our sakes. You are as funny as you are pretty.
I always think it is so funny to read the titles to your post. Sometimes I 'get' them, and sometimes I don't. This time, I don't. :-)
Rebecca:
"Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher..."
Now do you get it? :-)
Heidi,
I took one. Just for you.
Sandy,
Taking flattering pictures of myself is easy! Having OTHER people take flattering pictures of me is another matter. They don't seem to understand that before the picture is taken (in bright, natural light only, to soften wrinkles and blemishes), the chin must first jut, the head must tilt, and the eyes must not droop.
(Except Steve. He doesn't count, because he makes everything and everyone look beautiful.)
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